A Broken Birdy
by Foniko
Summary: Robin is suffering a bad case of PSTD, Post Situation Traumatic Disorder, after being tortured for answers to a problem he know no answer for. He's slipping away from his friends, and he knows it, but refuses any help from his team. Maybe being evil isn't so bad after all... Rated T for obvious reasons.
1. Hope Is Pointless

**Okay guys, this is my first angst fanfiction, so sorry if it's terrible! Hope you guys enjoy! This started out as an idea for a one-shot. Sorry for the first short chapter. It just randomly sprung into my ADHD brain.**

**Disclaimers: Ah, you guys already know this stuff. I do not own the Teen Titans characters. Happy, DC?**

…..

The silent buzz in his head aroused him from sleep. Soft, fuzzy, blissful sleep. He groaned silently and shifted ever so slightly, barely containing a scream as fresh, hot pain rolled through him in taunting waves.

With the foreboding creak of the door's hinges, a flickering light sputtered on overhead and Robin shrunk away with a wince, not even bothering to open his eyes.

He knew who it was.

With a heavy thud, the trunk his enemy was carrying landed on the ground and, with the jingle of rusted keys, flipped open.

"My, my, Robin; we're not looking so good, are we?" Slade asked, then chuckled after his comment was left hanging in the air. "How rude."

After a short silence, agony shot up his shattered arm and he threw himself away from his tormenter, eyes flying open.

Slade was standing over him, holding a long black rod. Robin couldn't see past the steel mask, but he could picture the ugly snarl beneath.

"It could all end, you know, if you would just _tell me _what I want to know!" He shouted, all patience gone. He kneeled closer. "_You _are Raven's best friend. She would tell you _anything._ I _know _that she told you how to bring Trigon back to Earth."

Robin shook his head. "There is no way. He's GONE Slade. Suck it up and move on."

Slade's only eye narrowed. With a final kick, he turned and stomped to the door. "I'll be back later. And I expect an answer." The door closed, leaving the Boy Wonder alone to his thoughts.

He closed his eyes once more, but, before he could stop it, a single tear slipped though his mental defenses.

Where were the Titans?

Didn't they care?


	2. Moving Pudding and Zombies

**thelegendofbbrae- Thank you for being my one and only commenter, lol! I will definitely be posting more, don't worry. :3**

**Disclaimers: Don't you guys know this stuff already?! Fine, fine. I do NOT own any Teen Titans characters!**

**Aaaaaaand... here's chapter two, peeps! Enjoy!**

...

His eyes snapped open and focused on the hand reaching towards him for only a second. Going into survival mode, he flipped to the left and rolled to the floor, reaching for his bo-staff in his belt. His fingers closed on empty air and he snarled in frustration. He should have remembered that-

Oh.

Raven and Starfire looked down at him fearfully. "Please, friend Robin, you are okay?" Starfire asked.

He stood up and mentally slapped himself. "Huh? Yeah." he shook away her comforting hand and leaned over his desk, turning away his face.

"We heard you screaming and Beast Boy and Cyborg are on patrol, so..." Raven's gaze bore into his back and he resisted the urge to shiver. There was a long, drawn out silence before, "If you would let me in your mind, I cou-"

"No!" Robin shouted. Then lowered his voice, suddenly fearing the echoes that bounced around his room. "Stay out of my mind."

"Please, boyfriend Robin, come out of your room?" Starfire asked pleadingly. "No body else will try my bezoorka pies!"

"Sorry, Star." he forced a smile. "Let's go eat some pies."

Raven knew that his smile was a fake, and she glanced at him, concerned, before floating out of the room. Starfire seemed uncertain, but she quickly smiled back and followed her friend out of the room.

Robin let out a shaky breath and struggled to pull himself together. If he couldn't act normal in front of his friends, how could he ever be the same in front of his enemies, or go out into the city? His teammates said he had been missing for seven weeks, but it felt like so much longer to him. It felt like he had missed out on years, if not centuries of life.

Straightening, he tried (and failed) to slap on a smile and headed out the door.

Cyborg and Beast Boy were climbing out of the elevator, Beast Boy in the form of a dog, when he entered the living room. They glanced at him worriedly then looked at the floor and headed to their game station.

_WHY _did they keep looking at him like that? _WHY _did they keep looking at him as if he were some broken doll? He hushed down the small bubble of fury that welled inside him and hurried to the kitchen, where Starfire turned around with a giant bowl of... _moving pudding. _He smiled. A real, warm smile. Of course. That was Starfire for you.

As it turned out, she had baked several different... what was the word?... monstrosities while he was away. And insisted he try them all. Finally, when he thought he was about to explode, _finally, finally,_ **_finally_** did she suggest did they watch a movie.

Beast Boy pumped his fist in the air. "Woohoo! Zombies from the Dirt FIVE came out on DVD yesterday! And-"

"WE GOT IT ON PATROL!" Cyborg finished, sliding the new disk into the player. Several previews for movies flashed by and then the screen went black. It was black for several minutes and Robin started to stand to see if the television was broken when a loud, piercing scream echoes throughout the room. His breathing quickened and masked eyes narrowed as he sunk back onto the couch.

Just his imagination.

It echoed again, and he shifted uncomfortably. Next to him, Cyborg nudged Beast boy and muttered something about the movie. Another scream. Robin pressed himself against the back of the couch, completely rigid. Music started to play and the opening scene appeared on the giant screen. A bloody scene stretched across the T.V. and several zombies ran after a human into a collapsing building.

A dreadful, panicked shriek sprang from the speaker behind him and he closed his eyes as tight as he could. _It's just a movie. Just a movie. _He forced himself not to run from the room and opened his eyes.

He shouted in surprise and scrambled back. On the screen, a zombie was crouching over the remains of a dead person, but in his mind, it was not a zombie.

It was Slade.

He was dimly aware of his friends shouting after him as he fled back into his room.

He locked his door and sat on the edge of his bead, sucking in gulps of air. When had he started crying?

A loud knock on the door snapped his head up and he stared at it warily.

"Robin, man, you okay?" Cyborg asked through the giant metal door.

"I'm fine." he muttered in response. He threw a pillow at the door. It bounced off with an almost silent thud and fell to the floor. He laughed softly. It was such a childish thing to do. Bruce would never approve. Bruce... His grin stretched wider as he imagined the Batman pouting and throwing stuff like a toddler. He couldn't hold it in any more. He let out such a wild and crazy laugh, he shrunk back and frowned.

A wild and crazy laugh...

...

Beast Boy gaped. Though, in his fly form, he couldn't really gape, could he? He buzzed under and out the door, suddenly chilled with the fear of being in the same room as his leader. He was laughing like a total maniac. He morphed into his human form as he ran into the common room, where the rest of his friends were shamefully switching off the T.V.

"You guys won't believe this!" he said loudly. They looked expectantly up at him.

"Beast Boy." Raven warned. Understanding bloomed in her eyes and turned to annoyance. "You went in his room?!" she hissed.

Beast Boy nodded. "In my defense, I was just making sure he was okay." They all glared at him disapprovingly. "He's crazy." he stated bluntly. "Laughing like a psycho!"

"You should not have gone in friend Robin's room!" Starfire huffed.

"Fine!" he yelled. "I, unlike you guys, was just looking out for a friend!" with that, he stormed out of the room.

**Author's Note:**

**Mwahahahaha! You guys see what I'm doing now, right? Riiiiiight?! Hehehehehehe... See you guys next week... Or will I...? :)**


	3. Pull The Trigger

**HEY! I SEE YOU THERE! Unless you're John Cena...**

**Okay, now that my lame attempt at humor has passed, I would like you all to know that you have my gratitude for reviewing! Aaaand... Oh. Whoohoo. Time for disclaimers. What a wondrous joy that they bring to my life. As you ALL should know by now, I DO NOT OWN THE TEEN TITANS, NOR BATMAN! **

The alarms rang throughout the tower. Robin moaned and sat up, the blaring lights in sync with his throbbing head. Why couldn't super evil and malicious villains wait until morning? Or maybe noon?

Dragging himself out of bed, he made his way to the main room, where the Titans were gathered around the giant monitor. "What's the trouble?" he asked, attempting to look determined in front of his friends. They cast a worried glance and stepped back.

Robin's heart sunk to his boots.

In the screen, grinning wickedly, was Slade.

He could feel himself deflate and mentally shook himself, straightening. "What did you do now?" he snarled, shoving to the front of the small group. Worry tickled his insides. If it came to hand-to-hand combat with Slade, would he be whisked away back to the old warehouse? He shivered silently, still glaring up at the bright screen.

"Relax, Robin." Slade chuckled, enjoying seeing his enemy so weak. "I will tell in due time if you watch your patience." _That _caused him to flinch. Slade tormented him about patience...

"I won't relax until your in _PRISON._" he barked.

Slade sighed, bored. "If there are no interruptions, I would hope that you know that I have six gas-filled bombs placed over the city. They contain a virus that will proceed to contaminate the air in approximately-" he checked some unseen clock. "Four hours. When they go off..." he shrugged. "Your city will begin to drop like flies."

The screen flickered off, leaving them staring at an empty board. Robin took a moment to let out a long breath before shouting his well-known war cry of "Titans, GO!" before they scattered about the city, searching for the bombs individually.

About nine minutes into the search, Cyborg's voice sprang over the line of the communicator. "I've found one! It's by the pier! But I've got it though! When you guys disarm it, do NOT cut the red wire. Cut the light blue one. All of the others release the gas." There was a short snip and a zap, shouted by a pained shout from Cyborg. "Whoops, never mind. It's the red one... That hurt my finger..." he added, forgetting to end the call. Robin could hear Beast Boy stiffle a laugh when Cyborg proceeded to mutter about how his mommy used to kiss his booboos.

"Cyborg, we can hear you as plain as day."

There was a long pause. "Err, right." Embarrassment flooded through his voice. With a small click, Cy's fancy walkie-talkie cut off.

The Boy Wonder rolled his eyes and continued to scan the park with his unwavering gaze. He broke into a sprint when he caught the harsh glare of orange and black armor running behind the fountain.

"SLADE!" he roared, flinging himself forward with his bo-staff. It smashed through the delicate ceramic tiles and sent tiny pieces raining down on him. Without pause, he whipped around and with a mighty swing aimed the metal pole at his enemy's head. In his fury, he swung the staff too high and it shuddered, jarring him to the bone, when a gloved hand caught it.

"Tsk, tsk, dear Robin. If I wanted you dead, you would be by now." Slade snarled viciously. With a sudden lunge, the side of Slade's steel-toed boot swung up into the air and connected with Robin's head. He crumpled to the ground. With a loud groan, he pulled himself to his feet unsteadily, black and red swirling around his vision. Slade was nowhere to be seen and a spark of fear enveloped him.

A sudden blow to the back of his knees sent him kneeling down. Something rough and metal was shoved into his hands. Trembling, not even bothering to fight back, he pulled the metal object into the light.

It was a gun.

Slade reached from behind him and jerked the gun's nozzle uptight and pointed it at a citizen hurrying home nearby.

"Do it, Robin." he hissed.

After so many weeks of doing exactly what he said, being inspired by only fear and fear and fear and fear and fear and hatred, Robin listened. His shaking hand tightened around it and he closed his eyes.

And pulled the trigger.

The explosive shot rang out and a heavy thud sounded. Terrified, Robin cracked open one eye. He was no longer facing the street. He had yanked his arm back and fired behind him.

Slade stood painfully up, cupping his wounded shoulder in his hands and laughed. "I broke you, didn't I Robin?"

"No!" Robin growled desperately. "No, no, no, no, you didn't! I would never have hurt him!"

Slade one eye gleaned with satisfaction. "Ah, but did you not just try to _kill _me?"

Robin froze. The violently shaking gun slipped from his grasp and fell softly in the grass. Terror swamped over him and he bolted upright, only to stagger backwards. A red veil had been draped over his vision and he stumbled, falling back and staring at the grim sky. Thoughts swarmed his mind. He had tried to _kill _somebody. He had tried to kill them. Kill.

He shakily lifted his blood-stained gloves.

And laughed.

He laughed and laughed until his sides hurt. He had no idea why and shrunk within himself, scared beyond belief.

What had he become?

...

Beast Boy grumbled angrily. "We would have been done a lot faster if Bird Brain had helped us." That earned a cold look from Star.

"You know, this is probably a once in a lifetime situation, but," Cyborg shrugged, "for once, the Grass Stain's right."

"Apparently," Raven said, pulling up her hood as it started to rain, "Robin is still in the park."

"Now is definitely not a good time for a leisurely stroll!" Beast Boy chuckled at his own joke, then looked down sourly as the rest of the team glared at him. "Well, let's go find him then!"

At the park, it was completely dark, the lights all broken with tiny orange darts sticking out of them.

"Wait." Cyborg said. He held out his robotic arm and scanned the area. A slight beep told him something was huddled behind the fountain in the center of the park. Starfire held a Starbolt as soon as she recognized the noise.

They found their leader curled in a tight ball.

"What is that?!" Starfire shrieked, pointing to his gloves.

An impending sense of disaster fell upon the group. It was blood.

"Hey, Rob, wake up." Cyborg nudged his shoulder.

There was a small wheezing noise and the team leaned closer. They jerked away in shock when they realized he was laughing. The small giggle suddenly escalated into a fit of hysterical cackles. He rolled away and leaned against a bench, doubling over as another loud laugh escaped him.

"Robin! Stop this at once! You are scaring me!" Starfire shouted.

He raised his hands in a feeble shrug before falling backwards onto the ground for another bout of insane giggles.

"I told you guys!" Beast Boy yelled. "But you guys didn't listen!"

With a final huff, Robin sat up, hand flying to the side of his head and winced.

"Robin, what do you find so funny?" Raven asked as calm as she could.

Their leader didn't answer but simply stood and brushed away the grass and dirt that clung to his shirt. He glanced up at his horrified team solemnly. Then a huge grin split across his face, emitting another collective groan from the Titans.

With a small chuckle, he said, "I shot Slade." And he ran away screaming with laughter into the night...


	4. Questions

**Sorry sorry sorry sorry! Really late update! Really! I know! I had so many school things going on... UIL, Science Fair, End of Semester Exams... lots of stuff...**

**And... I was sorta grounded...**

**I do not own Teen Titans or Batman. Or Justice League. And, yes, they will be in the future of the story. If you don't watch Justice League, it's fine, cuz I won't make things all complicated.  
**

**One last thing... THANK ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR AMAZING REVIEWS! I'm not sure if I mentioned this earlier, but if I reach 100 reviews by chapter 15 then I will wear a chicken suit to school! Honest! And I'll even post the pictures on my deviantART! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

...

A stone clicked across the road and into the sewer grate with an ugly, wet _sploosh! _

He sighed and pulled his arms tighter around himself, ignoring the odd looks he received from the few bystanders. It was a little past dawn and a handful of early rising citizens were walking about leisurely, some stopping at coffee shops and others on their way to a boring day at work.

Dick pushed his sunglasses higher up on the bridge of his nose and shivered under the weak late autumn, early winter sunlight. He was sitting on a bench, holding himself in a hug in on the edge of the park, staring up at the statue of the Teen Titans in battle stances carved from sleek gray marble. Of course, he was at the front. People always pictured his team that way, but he really didn't know why. Sure, he might be leader, but the other members were just as important as he, even if he liked to think of himself as whelmed or asterous*. They all contributed to their job. With just one of them missing, the whole team would fall apart...

Right?

Wasn't that how it was supposed to be?

He had a sinking feeling that his team could manage just fine without him. After all, they didn't exactly need him during those seven weeks, did they?

He let out a grunt of dissatisfaction and stood, stretching his cramped arms and stiff back. He strode past the inviting coffee shops, ignoring the warm fragrances gently wafting out and walked four blocks to a small, slightly run down doughnut shop. The door swung open and the small bell rang softly and the only other customer ignored him, preferring the company of his slowly blinking laptop.

Leaning against the counter, he lightly raked his gaze over the menu.

"May I help you?" someone asked behind him politely.

He turned and saw a dark haired teen wearing a flour covered apron strolling towards, around and then behind the counter. Her ponytail was drooping and strands of her rich almond hair framed her face. She had a smudge of flour on the bridge of her nose, sticking out oddly between her sea green eyes and olive skin.

"Um... yeah." he said, turning his attention back to the chalk board. "Can I take four dozen chocolate glazed?"

She raised an eyebrow, eying him up and down. At first, he shifted nervously, worried that she could see straight past his civilian identity. But then he realized she was smirking crookedly.

"A little small for forty eight doughnuts." she laughed, pulling out two large white boxes.

He gave a small smile in return. "Trust me, they can handle it."

She laughed and went into the back, calling over her shoulder, "It'll be a little while, because we just opened. Take a seat!"

He sat down with a tiny sigh and leaned his forehead on his open palm. He had screwed up so badly last night. What was wrong with him? He _hated _guns. So why would he use one? Was Slade right? Was Richard truly a... criminal on the inside?

Screaming, angry questions were whipping around in his head so fast, it could give the Flash whiplash.

Had he really been laughing when his friends found him? Were they even his friends? Did they even care about-

There was a small buzz followed by a series of beeps climbing out of his pocket. He let out a small growl and shut his communicator off. All the way. They wouldn't be able to track him, now. He wanted to have a long, uninterrupted walk back to the tower.

He started in his seat as the stack of sugar filled boxes landed in front of him. The waitress winked and accepted the wad of cash he handed her and he made his way outside. With the boxes of steaming goodies under one arm, he walked all the way to the docks, silently thinking, his brow furrowed until he reached the water's edge. He looked up and shivered, partly because of the cold and partly because of the reluctant fear he felt to confront his friends. Sometimes, unbelievably, his angry friends were worse than a furious Batman.

...

The elevator slid smoothly to a stop and he was waiting for the doors to open when he heard it.

A muffled conversation was going on in the tower.

As the door began to slide open, he held down the _close _button and listened through the tiny crack he had allowed to appear between the thick metal sheets.

"... and find him soon." Cyborg was saying grimly.

"Surely you do not think that friend Robin would-"

"I don't know, Star. But we all know he's dangerous. We need to find him and get him help, okay? If you do find him, stop him before he can harm any citizens."

Shock rocketed through Robin.

The boxes of doughnuts fell to the ground forgotten.

How could they think that he would do such a thing?

The doors slid open, and he jumped. His team stared back at him, startled. He flinched when he realized they were fully armed.

A heavy silence boiled between them. Guilt crossed every one of their faces, but also a sad sort of determination.

"Did you hear...?" Beast Boy squeaked, half crouching behind Cyborg, who was standing straight in the the front.

Robin swallowed the bile that rose in his throat. "Yeah. I did."

Starfire made a small sound that sounded similar to a mouse, Beast Boy lowered his head, Raven stood stoic as ever and Cyborg tilted down his head just a bit.

He kicked the stack of crushed doughnuts away from him and began to make his way towards the hallway, not looking at any of them.

He was halfway there when Cyborg rushed in front of him. "Woah, wait. You owe us an explanation." he ground out, crossing his arms.

Robin crossed his arms back and groaned inwardly when he realized he was still in his civilian clothes. "Get out of my way."

Cyborg shook his head. "Look, man, what happened last night was-"

"I SAID GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!" he roared, storming past. He felt the surprised and taken aback glares of his "friends" boring into his back the whole way to his room.

...

"An explanation. Ha!" he scoffed loudly in a sneer as he attacked the punching bag ruthlessly. "I don't owe them shit." But then he felt a twinge of guilt inside him. They were his friends. And he'd treated them horribly.

_Hey, they were planning on hunting you down._ A tiny voice in the back of his head reminded him.

He leaned over, panting. His arms and legs felt like jello. But that wasn't possible because... he grabbed the clock and his eyes nearly shot out of his head like they did in cartoons. Of course he'd only been training for seventeen hours.

He slid down against the destroyed workout bag and closed his eyes, head tilting back and resting gently against it.

His emotions were still rolling in heaving waves about the past day. Well, two days, seeing as it was already a little past midnight. He couldn't have seriously shot a human being, could he? Slade was a terrible person, but a person nonetheless. Well, he had, and now he was going to have to deal with it.

He shakily stood and grunted when his black sleeveless shirt and matching cargo workout pants stick to him with sweat. He would have to watch the time more often.

Making his way to the kitchen, he sneaked silently towards the fridge. He meant it when he said silently. He was a master at stealth, being trained by _the _Batman, after all.

Batman. He hadn't come, either.

The crippling blow caused him to hunch over and he accidentally knocked into the island and a glass bowl filled with Starfire's "ginglezorp" fell to the ground. He flinched as the glass shattered the sound echoing throughout the entire tower.

Great. He'd managed to stay cooped up in his room all day avoiding them and now they were surely all speeding down here expecting an intruder.

Way to go, Robin.

But he was surprised when only Starfire floated into the kitchen, a soft green glow hovering above her hand.

Her look of anger melted away when she saw it was only her best friend.

Starfire's POV** 

"Hey, Star." he muttered, turning back towards the fridge for a bottle of water.

"Hello, friend Robin." she murmured. She hesitated for a long while while he gulped half the bottle before timidly asking, "Are you... alright? You seem... much, much different."

He didn't answer for at least a full ten minutes, leaning against the counter. Starfire walked over and leaned next to him, her head resting on his shoulder. Finally, "No, Starfire. I'm not okay." he tapped his water bottle against his lip, staring out into the dark room beyond. "And I haven't been for a long time."

Hearing these words saddened the Tameranian greatly. She tried to stop her lip from quivering and she nearly jumped when she realized that Robin knew she was crying. He did not like to see weakness. She moved to wiped them away but stopped when he turned his head and smiled sadly at her.

"Starfire, can I ask you a question?"

She nodded eagerly, hoping to make him feel better.

"Do you hate me?"

The question stung her to the core and she pressed her lips together in a firm line. Of course she did not hate him. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Why would he possibly think that?

He nodded his head softly at her silence. "It's alright." he said. "Can't blame you. I won't expect anything else if I can't even say that I am okay with myself." He stood straighter and turned away, heading back to his room.

She let out a rush of air and started after him but froze. Why couldn't she just answer his question? Why couldn't she just follow him? Was he actually right on some degree? Was there a part to Robin that she could not stand?

She shook her head and took another step after him, but by the time she had forced herself to move, her best friend was engulfed in the darkness and she knew she had better leave him alone. She had hesitated to long.

But was it her imagination or reality when she saw the glimmer of tears running down his face?

**Author's Note:**

**Yes, I know that there are SO MANY questions that they are asking themselves, but I did that on purpose. The chapter's called "Questions" after all!**

**Again, really sorry for the late update! I will be more on schedule next time! **

**For people who don't know what "whelmed" "asterous" and "POV" are:**

***Whelmed and asterous are two words that Robin likes to say in Young Justice and I loved them so much and I couldn't see why I shouldn't put them in here. Whelmed he says when he's just feeling happy, normal or ready to fight someone. He kinda just got pissed that everyone was saying "I'm underwhelmed." or "I'm overwhelmed." so he said, "Why can't anyone just be whelmed?"**

**Asterous he likes to say a lot. He made it up when he was bored on his bike and told Conner, "The opposite of disastrous is asterous, right?" and so he says he's "feeling the aster" when he's feeling happy or cool.**

****POV means Point of View**


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